Nix: The Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Club, Book 7.5 by Blevins Candace

Author:Blevins, Candace
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Excessica
Published: 2016-07-14T16:00:00+00:00

10

Tippy

I’d asked, he’d answered.

I’d already known, though. In my heart, I’d already known he was still using his sniper skills. I’d known when I had sex with him, and I’d known when I invited him to dinner. If I pushed him away now because he was honest then I’d be the dishonest one.

So I gave him as much truth as he’d given me. “Part of me wants to be pissed you gave me information that could put me in danger, but that’s just the part of me looking for an excuse to push you away. I’m terrified of losing myself in a relationship again, and yet the way I feel when I’m with you — it gives me hope of finding a healthy relationship. Healthy, as in I get to keep who I am and I don’t have to fold myself into your charm. Healthy because it won’t be me becoming your partner because we both change for each other. I don’t know if it’s actually possible because I can never promise you monogamy, but I’ve looked forward to seeing you as well, and we don’t have to figure everything out right now.”

“He made all of your fantasies come true?”

The question seemed to come out of left field, but I answered it without hesitating. “All of my sexual fantasies, yeah.”

“You have nonsexual fantasies?”

Yeah, coming home to someone who loves me, who knows me. Jinn had loved me as much as he was capable of loving another, but he had so much love for himself there just wasn’t much left for the other people in his life. It wasn’t his fault, and I’ll always love him — I just can’t be in his life anymore. I couldn’t tell Nix any of this though, so I just shrugged and said, “Yeah, but I think maybe we’ve had enough deep sharing for one day.”

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